Having confidence vs. having an ego Having confidence in your abilities is an important part of life. But how do you know when you're crossing the line into building an ego? Someone who is always bragging about himself not only sours the relationships with those around him, but also develops his actions into a pattern that is hard to reverse. Do you alienate people around you with your ego? Have you crossed the line of confidence to egotistical? Instead of bragging about your accomplishments, discuss how you got there or the people that helped you along the way. This way you can share your success in an endearing way without making it all about you. Take the focus off of yourself for a moment and think about how your success can be a tool to help others achieve the same.   ¶ Thursday, August 31, 2006

  Reading as brain food The benefits of a lifelong love of reading are endless. However, these benefits diminish greatly if you neither read productive works nor let the words sink into your mind. Reading the funny papers over a classic novel is almost incomparable. Do the books, papers, and articles you read nourish your mind? Do you reflect on the material you are taking in? Often discussing a passage with a friend or journaling about it on your own can leave a lasting impression on your mind. Make sure that the information you are taking in is not only full of "nutrients" but is also being properly digested.   ¶ Wednesday, August 30, 2006

  Is your life filled with anger? When someone cuts you off while driving, or misses an appointment you made together, you probably get angry. Often our imaginations create internal situations and fantasies that perpetuate those feelings until you are boiling and ready to take it out on someone else. Truly though, we waste too much of our time and energy feeling negatively towards all sorts of things in our lives. When was the last time you went an entire day without feeling angry? Think about the times you most frequently feel those tense, frustrated feelings building up in you and examine the root. If the situation is unavoidable, you've got to force yourself to accept it and move past it. Maybe you need to sit down with a co-worker and talk to her about what is bothering you-instead of just letting her idiosyncrasies get under your skin each day. Perhaps you need to find an alternative route home to avoid the daily traffic jam that makes your blood boil. Your body and mind will thank you for the peace such moves provide in the end.   ¶ Tuesday, August 29, 2006

  Stepping closer to the light at the end of the tunnel Hard times are inevitable-death, financial struggle, family problems, the loss of a job, depression-all of these tough times are just seasons. Abraham Lincoln once said, "This too shall pass," and you can apply it to both the good times and the bad. The thrill of a new relationship won't endure forever, just as the grief of losing a loved one won't either. So endure the hardships of life, knowing that time will eventually heal your wounds and you will make it through. Think about what struggles have occurred in your life and what they taught you. No matter how dim the light at the end of the tunnel seems, it is still a light. Each day is an opportunity for that light of hope to get closer and closer, until eventually the clouds above your head part and you feel the forgotten sunshine on you again. Overcoming pain makes you stronger and better equipped to handle the next valley.   ¶ Monday, August 28, 2006

  Do You Value the Small Tasks in Life? Do you ever feel that you will never advance in your life or career and get that opportunity to do something BIG? Don't doubt the importance and impact on doing the smaller jobs in life! The key to this quote is being consistent-despite the level (or lack of) glamour or grandeur of your work. If you must scrub toilets, make them the shiniest, cleanest darn toilets on the block! In all things do the best you can, whether someone is looking or not. If you want to succeed in life, it is important that you have a strong foundation of consistent, hard work. Don't dodge the smaller tasks in an effort to hold out for the glamorous, important jobs. Put value in the small things and you'll reap a huge reward when you're put to the test!  ¶ Monday, August 28, 2006

  Lending a helping hand It is easy to get down on someone when you aren't in their shoes. Often we throw in our two cents when it is not only unwanted, but also unhelpful and useless. Resist the temptation to waste your breath on pointless criticism at someone else's expense. Don't give advice to people unless it is asked for, lest you belittle them and come off looking like a know-it-all. Instead, examine ways you could help that person. Rather than continuously feeling irked by a coworker's mistakes, could you lend a hand or explain a task to her in a respectful way? You never know when the shoe will be on the other proverbial foot. Help others and one day it might come back to you.  ¶ Saturday, August 26, 2006

  Do you follow what your heart craves? As odd as it sounds, sometimes our logical minds can hold us back. Have you ever wanted to attempt a new career, run a marathon, or start your own business? Our brains might scream at us that it is safer to do what has been tried and true in the past, but don't let the fear of the unknown stop you! We all spend a lot of time worrying and little time examining the calling of our own hearts. What are you passionate about? Is there a way that you can honor these feelings in a responsible way? Trying new things can be terrifying, but following our passions can make us feel alive and become some of our most memorable moments in life. The thrill of love, the depths of grief, and the joys of a new career...all would be impossible without passion.  ¶ Saturday, August 26, 2006

  Breaking the cycle of failure One experience builds on another and that is how life evolves. We should not simply "live and learn" but rather "live, learn, and improve." We all make mistakes in life. Do you learn from yours or do you have a cycle of making the same ones over and over? Perhaps you want to lose weight but always seem to fail, never seem to finish your reports at work, or have a hard time following through on your obligations. Examine some past failures and review where you went off track with your goal. Don't mistake failing with "I am a failure," as no one is perfect all the time. Take what you have learned and apply it to the next situation.  ¶ Thursday, August 24, 2006

  Are you able to focus on your goals? Calm your mind. Quiet all of the distractions surrounding you. Concentrate on the one task at hand. Often a naysayer can cloud our minds and break our focus. What in your life distracts you? In the moment of need, silence your brain and allow yourself to stay focused. Save your worries about tomorrow and guilt over yesterday's failures for another time. Maybe you need to meditate, pray, or simply spend a few moments quietly gathering yourself before tackling the project at hand. Now is the time for just one thing-reaching your goal. Today, focus your energy, clear your head, and achieve!  ¶ Wednesday, August 23, 2006

  The power of a positive face Have you ever contemplated how much a smile can change a person's day? Both the person who smiles and the one who sees it are positively impacted by such a small act. This seemingly tiny reflex can perk up a bad attitude, make you seem more warm and inviting, and often pass some happiness on to others. So the next time your alarm goes off for your 5 a.m. run or your dog barks in the middle of the night, smile instead of grumbling. You'd be surprised how a positive face can in turn become a positive and motivational attitude!  ¶ Tuesday, August 22, 2006

  Victory over Trials The need to weather hard times is constantly part of our business and personal lives. Do you ever think of these hurdles in a positive light? The next time you are faced with opposition, instead of looking at it as a source of anxiety, view it as an opportunity! Can you apply what you have learned to other areas of your life? Will this experience make you stronger and wiser next time around? Sometimes the worst and most painful experiences are the ones that help us grow the most. Having a positive attitude can deflate even the scariest situation. Overcoming adversity can help you achieve the extraordinary!  ¶ Monday, August 21, 2006

  Do you accept responsibly for your choices in life?. Do you feel in control of your life? No matter how negative events or actions may become, you are the only force that is able to determine the reaction. Often we fail to do this, and instead blame the world for our feelings of sadness, rejection, and hopelessness. The reality is that your actions are a choice, and you must claim those feelings and choices. We can be our best cheerleader or worst enemy when it comes to determining the health of our emotions. Do some pep talks with yourself each morning. This will help you develop positive, self-affirming thoughts that will enhance your personal development and growth.  ¶ Sunday, August 20, 2006

  Pencil in some face time with yourself Millions of people use organizers, palm pilots, calendars, personal assistants, sticky notes, and date books to help them manage their busy lives. Do you allow these organizers to rule your life? Do you allow space for personal time? Often we micro-manage our lives and schedule our time so much that it comes at the price of our own freedom. Instead of scheduling another meeting with your co-workers, schedule one with yourself. Make the most of today because tomorrow is never guaranteed.  ¶ Saturday, August 19, 2006

  Are you getting the best night's sleep possible? Many people have difficulty getting a good night's rest. Sleep plays a crucial role in your health and well-being. Often we lose sleep because our minds are preoccupied with going over the day's events or planning for future ones. If you have problems sleeping, try creating a journal. Write out your worries and fears about what is happening in your life. Are you considering a career change? Are your in-laws coming for a visit? Do you have a strained relationship with someone? Allow your thoughts to flow out honestly to better prepare for a good night's rest.  ¶ Friday, August 18, 2006

  Magnifying small sacrifices How do you treat people who cannot (or choose not to) repay you for the good things that you have done for them? Do you hold a grudge, speak ill of them, or constantly keep score? Think about a homeless man in need of a hot meal, the elderly woman who cannot open the door by herself at the store, or a lost child. Probably none of these individuals could equally compensate you for any sacrifices you make on their behalves. There remains but two choices—help or ignore. Our minds easily jump to putting them out of our minds and going about our days. But imagine the good you could do if you took a small moment of your time or the change out of your pocket. Such a small sacrifice (from your perspective of course), could have a 10-fold positive impact!  ¶ Thursday, August 17, 2006

  Struggling to find your voice In the face of conflict we might be tempted to just go with the flow and not make waves. The path of least resistance is saying "yes" when you want to say "no" and that road is always paved with regrets and mistakes. While compromise is good and a necessary part of healthy relationships, no one should have to fully deny their feelings and remain voiceless while others dominate a situation. It might feel easier to nod your head and passively agree, but in the long run you are being cheated. While there might be a whole list of justifications and excuses for stepping off the path of your principles, staying true to yourself reaps countless more rewards than selling out to appease someone else. Reconcile today the negative passivity you have displayed in the past.  ¶ Tuesday, August 15, 2006

  What we can learn about patience from a diamond Trying and persevering—but failing—to see your goals realized can be frustrating. Margaret Thatcher once said "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it," and she was absolutely right. You''ve got to believe that you will succeed! Never admit defeat as long as time and effort remain. Our greatest asset is patience; our greatest weakness is throwing in the towel. Banish discouragement and feelings of impossibility by working hard, doing more, and not giving in! A diamond was only made beautiful after hundreds of years as a lump of coal.  ¶ Monday, August 14, 2006

  What leaps of faith are you willing to take? Trying new things can give you a real zest for life. Pushing beyond your comfort zone in a responsible way helps you grow confidence and creativity that you can apply to your everyday life. Do not let fear control what you do (or don't) do? While taking risks can be scary, doing nothing is a big mistake, as it produces nothing fruitful within you. There is a direct relationship between the things that we achieve and the effort we put forth to obtain them. To reach the fruit, you have to climb the tree first!  ¶ Sunday, August 13, 2006

  Cultivating what gives you joy The easiest way to identify what our heart wants is to examine the feelings that surface when we relate to that subject. Do you find solace when picking up your journal to write a daily reflection? Does time spent with your family thrill you to tears? What feelings arise when you chase down the things that make your heart flutter? True happiness comes when we routinely engage in positive activities that we love. Take a look at your life as a whole. Pursue the things that make you feel alive and fill you with joy, and healthy balance.  ¶ Saturday, August 12, 2006

  Tending two shops People can be hard to deal with. Are your coworkers constantly annoying you? Does your neighbor rake his leaves into your yard every fall? Is your child high-maintenance and needy? Often we let our frustrations and anger towards people and situations prevent us from seeing the larger picture. Try looking at the circumstance from the other person's point of view. Your overbearing co-worker might just be trying to emulate you by asking a million questions. Perhaps your neighbor doesn't really know where his property line ends and where yours begins. Your child may need more individual time with you, instead of competing with siblings. No person's personality can be summed up entirely by one negative trait or action. So next time someone cuts you off in traffic or swipes the idyllic apple you were eying at the store, remember that everyone does less-than-perfect things sometimes. Know your role in people's lives and continue to be positive and mature. After all, we all do things that are worthy of a good tongue lashing sometimes!  ¶ Friday, August 11, 2006

  The positive cycle of forgiveness Ok, be honest. Do you hold grudges? Do you allow old drama to determine your behavior? Is there someone you just can't seem to forgive? Grudges and a non-forgiving attitude do nothing but harm both parties. You might feel like you're "winning" by not letting someone off the hook, but you're only increasing your own worry and stress. Bitterness can lead to hate, which can sour a life. Today, write a letter explaining your point of view to the person you feel resentful towards. Clear the air; forgiving him. Even if you don't send it, it is an excellent way to relieve tension. Forgiving someone does not absolve them of the wrong that you experienced. It can simply free you to live a life that isn't anchored to the hurt and resentment of past events.  ¶ Thursday, August 10, 2006

  Reinforcing Healthy Competition Competition is a natural part of life. We are faced with competition for jobs, a mate, and even the best parking spot at the store. Approaching these situations with grace is an important way to model good relationship skills—especially to our children. Often people get angry during competition, but try to be mindful of how this frustration is unleashed. No one wants to be on the receiving end of either a sore loser's lack of composure or a boastful winner's lack of grace. Don't gloat to your friend that your daughter can run faster or read at a higher level than her child. Remember, after the basketball game concludes she is still your friend and you don't want a moment of hot-headedness to interfere with what really matters—your relationship. Modesty can go a long way!  ¶ Wednesday, August 09, 2006

  The Benefits of Eating Together The Family Who Eats Together Stays Together
-- By Becky Hand, Licensed & Registered Dietician

"Come and get it!" It may be dinnertime, but when was the last time your family sat down and enjoyed dinner together? With music lessons, ball practice, play rehearsal, and work schedules, it can be tough. Rounding up the troop for an evening meal can be almost impossible! However, research is beginning to show that eating as a family has great benefits for your children and teenagers. Here are 8 more reasons why you should try to sit down together 5-6 times a week, whether for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Reason #1: Communication and Well-Being
Conversations during the meal provide opportunities for the family to bond, plan, connect, and learn from one another. It’s a chance to share information and news of the day, as well as give extra attention to your children and teens. Family meals foster warmth, security and love, as well as feelings of belonging. It can be a unifying experience for all.

Reason #2: Model Manners (and more)
Family mealtime is the perfect opportunity to display appropriate table manners, meal etiquette, and social skills. Keep the mood light, relaxed, and loving. Try not to instruct or criticize—lead by example.

Reason # 3: Expand Their World…One Food at a Time
Encourage your children to try new foods, without forcing, coercing, or bribing. Introduce a new food along with some of the stand-by favorites. Remember that it can take 8-10 exposures to a new food before it is accepted, so be patient. Trying a new food is like starting a new hobby. It expands your child’s knowledge, experience, and skill.

* Include foods from other cultures and countries.
* Select a new vegetable from a local farmer’s market.
* Have your child select a new recipe from a cookbook, web site, newspaper, magazine or check out the recipes on SparkPeople.

Reason #4: Nourish
Meals prepared and eaten at home are usually more nutritious and healthy. They contain more fruits, vegetables, and dairy products along with additional nutrients such as fiber, calcium, vitamins A and C, and folate. Home cooked meals are usually not fried or highly salted, plus soda and sweetened beverage consumption is usually lower at the dinner table.

Reason #5: Become Self-Sufficient
Children today are missing out on the importance of knowing how to plan and prepare meals. Basic cooking, baking, and food preparation are necessities for being self-sufficient. Involve your family in menu planning, grocery shopping, and food preparation. Preschoolers can tear lettuce, cut bananas, and set the table. Older children can pour milk, peel vegetables, and mix batter. Teenagers can dice, chop, bake, and grill. Working as a team puts the meal on the table faster, as well as makes everyone more responsible and accepting of the outcome. Improved eating habits come with "ownership" of a meal.

Reason #6: Prevent Destructive Behaviors
Research shows that frequent family dinners (five or more a week), are associated with lower rates of smoking, drinking, and illegal drug use in pre-teens and teenagers when compared to families that eat together two or fewer times per week. Even as older children’s schedules get more complicated, it is important to make an effort to eat meals together. Scheduling is a must.

Reason #7: Improve Grades
Children do better in school when they eat more meals with their parents and family. Teenagers who eat dinner four or more times per week with their families have higher academic performance compared with teenagers who eat with their families two or fewer times per week.

Reason # 8: Save Money
Meals purchased away from home cost two to four times more than meals prepared at home. At present time the restaurant industry’s share of the total food dollar is more than 46%. Due to scheduling, commitments, and activities, families eat out several times each week.

It is time to bring the "family" back to the dinner table. Sharing dinner together gives everyone a sense of identity. It can help ease day-to-day conflicts, as well as establish traditions and memories that can last a lifetime.  ¶ Wednesday, August 09, 2006

  Stewardship of the Earth Reduce, reuse, and recycle sounds great, but do we really think about (and apply) earth management into our daily lives? You might not litter, but how often do you drive your own vehicle rather than carpooling? What about buying "green" products instead of commercial items made with harmful chemicals? It is easy to disregard the dangers to the environment because there are no immediate consequences to our lives. However, think about how the earth will be in 50 years if everyone lived as you are today. Set a good example to your children of stewardship for the earth by recycling, eating fresh fruits and vegetables, and generally appreciating nature. Instead of going to Disney World, go on a camping trip. Turn off the TV and pick some flowers. This world is not ours alone. It is communally shared with all of the generations before us, and all of those to come after us.  ¶ Tuesday, August 08, 2006

  Do you succumb to laziness? We commonly procrastinate or put off an activity altogether by saying "It will get done eventually" or "Someone else will do it." Wrong! Being lazy and not taking responsibility are wastes of time. Often the power for change is within us, but without our efforts things would fail or go awry. You cannot rely on help from others, only what your own two hands accomplish on their own. Hard work is a habit that needs constant attention. But be mindful that you are giving your full effort to a project. Apply yourself, value your time, and don't squander it hoping for help.  ¶ Monday, August 07, 2006

  What wealth do you possess? There is a long standing tradition for Buddhist monks to arise each morning very early and set out to collect alms bowls, and go out into their community to collect donations of food, usually merely of rice or curry. Surprisingly though, none of this food is eaten as the monks are typically well stocked at their monastery. Why? This age old tradition is still in existence simply to allow the nearby townspeople to experience the joy of giving. Do you have resources or talent that you can use to help others? By hoarding what you have you not only waste opportunities but also fail to leave any sort of positive mark on the world. You might have money, talent, time, knowledge, or energy, but all of these things should be shared. No one is better off by keeping their wealth—in any form—to themselves.  ¶ Monday, August 07, 2006

  Shining your light on a friend's shade You can't turn on a country music station without hearing a song about someone down on their luck. But what about those around you? Think about how much it means to you to receive a note in the mail from a caring friend when you're going through a hard time. Use those warm feelings to compel you to spread the love to others. We all need such encouragement and often we forget that it's okay not to be the pillar of strength when life has us by the tail. Throw your arms around someone today who might need a good squeeze, send a card to a co-worker who needs cheering up, or bake a special treat for your ill child. Friends are precious, not just in the sunshine of life, but especially in the shade.  ¶ Monday, August 07, 2006

  Is the grass truly greener on the other side? Do you ever feel that you're always getting the short end of the stick? Or do you constantly compare your life to others'? We are bombarded with daily images of the posh lifestyles of celebrities. Their pampering, expensive wardrobes, and status can entice even the happiest of people to drool over such luxury. But by thinking about the world as a whole, you'll find that your own life is wealthy beyond compare. Make a short list of some of your overlooked privileges. Owning a car (or two!), having access to television, computers, drinkable water, a respectable wage at your job, and all of the freedoms you enjoy that are a foreign idea to many people around the world. Be grateful for your life and over time maybe you will see that your plot in life is someone else's "greener grass".  ¶ Monday, August 07, 2006

  Small steps that lead us to achievement There are natural consequences that accompany every choice we make in life. Some opportunities inevitably pass us by, but we can take advantage of others. Many people feel powerless but this is rarely the case—some opportunities just require a little thinking outside the box. Today, reflect on the doors you are opening in your world and which ones are closing. You have the power to create the life you want if you are willing to set goals and take steps toward them. Rarely does fulfilling our hopes and dreams happen overnight, but daily you can take one tiny move towards them.  ¶ Thursday, August 03, 2006

  Are you setting the pace for your health? Exercise can be extremely uplifting! Marathon runners often talk about a "runner's high". Not only does working out help your physical body become stronger and more resilient, but it also has many pluses for your mind. Taking time out of your day to exercise gives you a chance to let go of your worries, calm your mind, and concentrate on one thing—which seems impossible to most moms! Running works for most people, as you can set the pace and distance to suit your skill level. Start slowly by doing a combination of stretching, walking, and light jogging. Then gradually work up to a routine that elevates your heart rate. Be careful not to start out too fast—it might lead to discouragement and muscle soreness that will make you never want to put on your running shoes again. Pretty soon you'll be able to intensify your workout to incorporate quicker paces and longer sessions. Endurance and setting a healthy pace are keys to long term success.  ¶ Wednesday, August 02, 2006

  Leading a successful flock Be mindful of who you are following. By no means develop a skeptical temperament towards authority, but consider the quality of the leadership before you. Are you allowing informed consent to be the rule of your actions rather than blindly following? If not, educate yourself, follow your instincts, and speak up! As a parent or friend, you have a great responsibility to lead your family and friends in the right direction. Take the initiative to review the path you're taking your loved ones down and revise it to make the healthiest and most mutually beneficial choices for everyone.  ¶ Tuesday, August 01, 2006